When it comes to weddings, the costs of planning the big day can quickly add up and before you know it, you’ve spent thousands.
Many couples spend a long time saving in order to pay for their nuptials, while others are fortunate enough to be able to borrow money from loved ones.
One bride-to-be has recently claimed her parents were generously going to cover the cost of her wedding and her dad had set her a budget of $40,000 (around £28,000).
She started planning the occasion and was pleased to find she was going to come in under budget.
However, tensions began mounting when her mother “backtracked” on their arrangement and announced they’d be slashing the amount of money they could give in half.
In an anonymous post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum the woman, from the US, revealed all.
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The daughter was unimpressed and argues that her parents can afford to pay a hefty sum for her wedding as they “make good money” and says they shouldn’t have offered her the bigger amount in the first place.
She goes on to discuss how she is their only daughter and complain that they just bought her brother a fancy car.
“I’m recently engaged and I’ve started planning my wedding. I’m the only girl and my parents make good money (about 450k yearly) so they’ve always said they’d pay for my wedding when I decide to get married,” she wrote.
“I set my budget around $25k and started getting estimates on venue, photographer, videographer, etc. My dad said the budget was $40k (which I knew I’d be way below) so I wouldn’t have to stress about DIY-ing the whole thing and enjoy the planning process.
“My mom has consistently pushed me to cut corners and have a cheaper wedding and said she’d give me a few thousand as a gift if I do.
“My fiancé and I agree we’d rather have a nice, put together wedding than accept the gift.
“My mom has also gotten estimates of how much her friends paid for their daughters’ weddings (all of which were over $25k) and agreed they could swing that financially. The kicker here is after those two estimates were thrown out, my parents backtracked and gave me a final wedding budget of $20k.”
She went on to say that her parents are also pushing her to have a “southern barn wedding” while she’s hoping for a “modern elegance” theme.
“I wouldn’t be so upset with them had the budget been $20k from the beginning but it seems as if they pulled that number out of thin air. They also created this budget after my mom spent $3000 on my dress and veil so I’m now left with $17k.
“Another issue I have is they have no problem buying baseball tickets for $200 piece and spending $100+ on dinner multiple nights a week. They also just bought one of my younger brothers a car (he’s in his junior year of college).”
She adds that she and her fiancé are in a long-distance relationship – but this will change after the wedding, hence why she’s so keen to get everything planned. So keen in fact that she told her mother she would “rather elope” than have the stress of negotiating a budget and not being able to enjoy her day the way she wants.
Understandably, her mother didn’t take this too well.
“She flipped,” the bride adds. “She’s pretty much refusing to let me elope and when I told her to plan the wedding herself because she’s being so picky, she had a problem with that too. I feel as if there’s no winning in this situation. Quite frankly I just want to be married to the man I love instead of arguing over wedding budget with my parents.”
More than 1,500 people have commented on the Reddit post to share their thoughts – with many agreeing “everyone sucked”.
One said: ” Sorry but you sound incredibly entitled whinging about your parents only giving you 20k for a single day event. That’s an annual salary for some people.
“Your mum is being overly pushy which I can imagine is really annoying. If she offered to pay for a wedding as a gift then it should be yours to design.
“If you want to elope then do it.”
Another wrote: “While I understand and agree that this insanely expensive wedding is a clear example of entitlement, OP is NTA in this situation. OP’s parents gave them an original budget, one that was 15k above what they were planning on using. Then after planning begun, the parents went back on their word and cut the budget in half. It doesn’t matter if the original budget was 40k or 4k, they still went back on a promise and are trying to control OP’s wedding.”
A third replied: “I don’t really think that she’s being entitled if she doesn’t care enough about a dream wedding to just decide to elope if she can’t have what she wants.”