Everyone knows that when it comes to weddings, there’s a lot more to it than simply confessing your love to one another for the world.
There’s the perfect venue, the perfect dress and, not to mention the stress of cultivating the perfect guestlist. But, before you even get to all that, there’s the ring.
When a friend gets engagement, you’re supposed to gush over how stunning the ring is and how clever their other half was to make such a perfect choice – that’s just how it goes.
So, you can understand just how upset one bride-to-be was, when her good friend chose to scorn her over the price of the jewellery, instead of inundating her with love and adoration.
“I got engaged around a month ago to my lovely boyfriend of six years. My fiancé works in the tech industry and makes a very good wage,” the woman explained on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum.
“For our engagement, my fiancé ended up picking probably the most perfect ring for me. It was very expensive, however, and he refused to tell me the exact price and just said it was upwards of $40k (£30,000).” Wow.
The woman went on to say she and her fiancé are planning to host a big engagement party with all their loved ones next week, and have already received all their RSVPs from family and friends, including one friend in particular, called Amy.
“Amy and I met at my work and have been close friends for about four years, however, she is definitely my most complicated friendship,” the bride-to-be continued.
“She is a young single mum and has struggled financially. Throughout the years, I have offered a lot of financial support to her such as paying for her meals and trips, paying for her daughter’s school trips and gifts, purchasing home goods for them.”
Around a week ago, following the engagement, the woman and Amy went for lunch together, when Amy started quizzing her about how much the engagement ring cost.
The bride recalled: “She said, ‘It looks like it’s at least $50,000. Don’t you think it’s kind of s***ty to spend that much on a ring when even a fifth of that money could’ve pulled a family out of poverty?’ I was frankly shocked when she made that comment.
“I’m a firm believer that you should never tell someone how to spend their money, especially if they’re a close friend who’s trying to share a happy moment with you.”
The bride said she tried to lighten the mood but Amy persisted, telling her: “But seriously though, he could’ve donated half of that to a nice charity and probably saved many lives. Wow, rich people really surprise me sometimes.”
After heading home, the woman reflected on the situation and decided she no longer felt comfortable having Amy at her engagement party after the comments she made.
“It takes me a while to get over rude comments like hers and I just did not want any tension or unresolved anger at our celebration,” she explained. “I shot her a text explaining how her comments were upsetting to me and how her words were not only demeaning, but disrespectful.”
Amy responded by apologising for her comments, explaining she didn’t realise they’d upset her so much and asked the bride to reconsider her stance on the engagement party because she had already bought an outfit and hired a babysitter.
“She also added that if I was going to uninvite her from the party over such a small thing, she’d ‘misjudged my character.’ I’ll admit, I can be a pushover sometimes and I did immediately feel bad after her message,” she said.
The woman asked other Reddit users whether she had reacted accordingly to the situation and was met with mixed responses.
“She bought an outfit just for a party? Doesn’t she know she could have donated that money to a homeless person and bought them food for a week?!” one Reddit user joked.
Another commented: “I can write a lecture about everything wrong with the wedding industry, but there are places I wouldn’t bring it up. To a friend who just got their engagement ring is probably not a place to discuss the moralities of how much it cost. Even if Amy had a point she was incredibly tactless about it.”